Wednesday, November 30, 2011
有没有鬼?
一群学生在班上讨论世上有没有鬼…
老师：你有看过鬼吗？
学生：没有…
老师：那就代表世上没有鬼！
... ...另一个学生又问老师…
学生：老师，你看得到你的脑吗？
老师：当然看不到…
学生：那就代表你没有脑!
三国笑话
董卓請呂布等心腹吃飯，並讓貂蟬作陪。
為了考驗心腹們的忠誠，董卓命令貂蟬把胸部塗黑。
隨後，吃飯時突然滅燭，一片漆黑！
不久複點燭，董卓發現眾人的手都是黑的，唯獨呂布的手是乾淨的！
董卓決定獎賞呂布！呂布很開心的笑了出來，露出了黑色的牙齒。
为什么狗狗独自在家时总是搞破坏？
为什么狗狗独自在家时，总是搞破坏？狗狗和猫猫不同，狗狗喜欢群居，害怕形单影只，单独留在家中，会令到它紧张恐慌，有些脆弱的狗狗喜欢把留有主人气味的东东收攞起来，摆在自己周围给自己壮胆，如果这些东东不够多，它就会撕碎它们，这样显得多一起，把碎片遍布自己周围，安全感也大一些。
周杰倫 - Mine Mine
Mine Mine
詞：周杰倫
曲：周杰倫
導演：周杰倫
沒有你的生活 我開始寫小說
好多畫面好多靈感 我要把稿費都給你
巷口不小心經過 你的車子依舊停在紅線 幫你繳罰單
你叫我別管 我才想到我們已經分開
想起那一個夏天 那不是那不是那是冬天
想起你生氣的臉 每天就像冬天 唉唉唉
你說那是愛愛愛
誰該堅強起來 月亮還是太陽 是誰遮了誰 是誰都會依賴
你說已分開 為什麼還要幫你撐傘
Cuz baby you are mine mine（Mine....）
Mine mine（Mine....）
太快 就承認 我真的很想你
會不會沒有男子氣概 You say
bye-bye（Bye....）
Oh bye-bye（Bye....）
拆開 我的心隨你看 滿滿的都是愛
我的眼皮跳一下 代表你在想我
我的耳朵癢一下 代表你在講我壞話
我沒這麼不好吧 不用跟朋友說吧
如果以後和好了 看到你朋友不是很尷尬
想起那一個夏天 那不是那不是那是冬天
想起你生氣的臉 每天就像冬天 唉唉唉
你說那是愛愛愛
騙誰 我說的氣話都收回
我寫的小說根本是空白黑夜
你說既然已分開 為何還要幫你撐傘
嘜嘜 你嘜擱嘜擱偷偷離開
嘜嘜 你嘜擱嘜擱偷偷離開
嘜驚 我不會放你一人治那 你想祙有人靠有人會疼
嘜吶 你雨傘雨傘趕緊打開
嘜吶 你雨傘雨傘趕緊打開
嘜鬧 落大雨你淋雨我艱苦 落大雨我沒你會艱苦
Cuz baby you are mine mine（Mine....）
Mine mine（Mine....）
太快 就承認 我真的很想你
會不會沒有男子氣概 You say
嘜吶 你雨傘雨傘趕緊打開
嘜吶 你雨傘雨傘趕緊打開
嘜鬧 落大雨你淋雨我艱苦 落大雨我沒你會艱苦
會艱苦....
忠告。。
忠告一：
不要經常去試探男人，更不要以分手作為威脅，當你經常給他這種暗示，他的潛意識就會做好分手的打算。
忠告二：
不要因為男人愛你就無限制的擴張自己的權利，不要干涉他的理想，信仰和追求，他一定有些特質是你所不瞭解的。
忠告三：
不要經常遲到，不要以為男人愛你他就應該有無限的耐心，一個人的耐心是有限度的，耐心消磨完了，就會消磨愛。
忠告四：
不要信奉這句話「你愛我，你就應該知道我想什麼」，這完全是一句鬼話，沒有人會完全知道對方想什麼。
由於男人沒有及時瞭解你的想法，而得出男人不愛你的結論是非常愚蠢的。
忠告五：
不要經常叫男人陪你逛街，沒有幾個男人真正喜歡逛街，強迫的最終結局就是……反抗。
忠告六：
男人在熱戀時為女孩子做的事情，不要指望他在以後的生活中一直持續下去，聰明的女孩子通常都會打五折。
忠告七：
不要去試圖改變男人，不要想著他會在你的調教下成為你理想中優秀的男性，去適應他比改變他來的明智。
忠告八：
不要對自己的魅力過分自信，沒有幾個男人會永久的承受出爾反爾，沒有幾個男人可以招之即來揮之即去，除非，這個男人愛你別有動機。
忠告九：
不要用這樣的思路來指導你們的愛情－－在男人的言行中尋找他不愛你的證據。男人不能每時每刻將精力放在女人身上，他也不可能注意到女人的每次暗示和不快。當你用放大鏡來尋找灰塵的時候，總會得到。
忠告十：
男人在思考的時候，盡量不要打攪他，他有時候也需要獨處的快樂，那並不證明他不愛你。
忠告十一：
男人和你再親密，也不要傷害他的自尊，無論在別人面前還是獨處，傷害就是傷害，無論他是否愛你。
忠告十二：
不要把自己的男人和別的男人比較，不要說他不如別人浪漫，不如別人體貼。每個人都是特殊的，愛的方式也不同，經常這樣說會使愛成為一種心理負擔。
忠告十三：
永遠在男人面前保持一點神秘感，不要將自己的一切都百分之百的袒露給男人，一個人吃得太飽是會厭食的，而不會感激。
忠告十四：
不要指望用性來獲得男人，這是捕獲男人最不牢靠的方式，因為愛情與肉體無關。
忠告十五：
愛情是一個磁場，而不是一個繩子，捆住他，不如吸引他。一根繩子會讓男人有掙脫的欲望，而一個磁場卻能給男人自由的假象，和一個永恆的誘惑。
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Your number?
IF you were born on the:
1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month you are number 1.
2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then you are number 2.
3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then you are number 3.
4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then you are Number 4.
5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then you are number 5.
6th, 15th, 24th of any month then you are number 6.
7th, 16th, 25th of any month then you are number 7.
8th, 17th, 26th of any month then you are number 8.
9th, 18th, 27th of any month then you are number 9.
Number 1
You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous
on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular. You
always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent. You are most
likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature! You are
likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most
likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a
spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you
will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of
the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas. But in
your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you &
your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a
pioneer, independent & original your best match is 4, 6, 8 while a good match
would be with 3,5,7.
Number 2
No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You
day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for
every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change
according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of
musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You can be sweet
as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a
sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a businessperson. You
are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you
settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you
are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will
sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad
vision. You make a well-balanced person. Your best match is 2, 7,5, and 9 no
other people can put up with you!!!
Number 3
You are hardhearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots
of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope
with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you
would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want. You always make a
point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are
not a cool person. It's not easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But
once you are comfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You
always earn respect from others. Your Ilk seems to have lots of worries and
problems but they won't be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love
money a bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You will look
after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being
generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom,
creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!!
Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5.
Number 4
You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in
life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away from you, you may cause
nuisance to others if you area man, as you gifted are with understanding other
people's problems. If you are a girl, you excel in your studies and arts. If you
are a guy you spend most of your time with girl friends and you tend to have too
much fun with your mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and
get on with their life and you will be left empty handed. So be careful! You
love to spend. Your positive side is that you are always around to help family
and friends. You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live
with disappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be
careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart (ahaks!). And
beware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent, and a
hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order. Your best match 1, 8. Good
match 5, 6, and 7.
Number 5
You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your
enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously. You will
be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will
always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help
your friends. You will have more than one relationship, but when you settle down
you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships - even if you are
married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with
anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You
learn your life through your personal experiences. Your best match 1, 2, Good
match 6, 8.
Number 6
Ooopppss... You were born to enjoy! You don't care about others. I mean you
always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel in either
education or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people
who you think are nice), and popular. All good things come easily to you. Your
mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are loveable by any number. But
if you are a number 6 men, you will be involved in more than a few relationships
until you get married. If you are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged
early. You are a caring person towards your family and friends. You are a person
of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and
after all you can heal this world's wounds to make peace for everyone because
you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step
further.. Your best match 7, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5.
Number 7
You are realistic, confident, happy, and talented in education, music, art,
singing, and most importantly in acting. You also have a bad temper! You value
your family status a lot; you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain
age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls. Most of the number 7s faces
lots of problems with their married life. Only a few are happy. You have
everything in your life but with worries throughout your lifetime. You need to
get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you
might end-up being single. You are born to contribute to everyone's joy. Your
best match is 2. Good matches are 1, 4.
Number 8
You have a very strong personality and people will find it hard to understand
you. You are more likely to suffer in your younger years. You might be also the
one responsible to look out for your family. You often suffer all the way
through life. You will learn life in a very practical way. You are the one who
will fight for justice and may even die in the war too. You are normally very
reserved with a handful of friends and most of the time, live life alone and
always prepared to help others. However, once you settle down, (which is often
late), then your had lucks will disappear. You will face unexpected problems
such as encountering poisonous animals, and accidents. You are highly-
disciplined, persistence, and courageous, and it is your strength that will take
you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your
Best match 1, 4 and 8. Good match 5.
Number 9
You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong,
physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will
think it's still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there!
Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will
have to fight in life. You are respected by others. You were however very
naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been
involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when
you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho
type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or
banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but
you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are
humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve
targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model
for everyone. Your best match 3, 5, 6, and 9. Good match 2.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
出门
一日，某精神病院院长为了测试病人病情，在墙上画了一扇门，
然后对病人们说：”谁能从这个门出去，就可以回家啦！”
于是，病人纷纷向墙上的门冲去，只有一人无动于衷，
院长以为他恢复正常了，问他：”你为什么不去呢？”
此病人答到：”你傻逼啊？钥匙在我这里，他们能出去？
爱现
从前有位恃才傲物的县太爷。
这天，办了一场乡亲聚会，爱表现的他，便开口说：
“衙门两边开，县爷坐中间；小卒站两旁，大告小告尽管来。”
有位和尚听完，马上也说：
“佛门两边开，佛祖放中间；和尚跪两旁，大拜小拜请进来。”
在旁的3姑一听，心想：“哼！以为我不会啊！” 马上站起来说：
“大腿两边开，香穴在中间；杂草生两旁，大枝小枝来来来。”
Search Party
“Stanley, you check the north shore. Louise, see if he fell asleep in the reeds again. Pauline, check the playground. Ooh, when I get my feathers on that boy, he’ll wish he was never hatched.”
原來很簡單
有一個人去應徵工作，隨手將走廊上的紙屑撿起來，放進了垃圾桶，被路過的口試官看到了，因此他得到了這份工作。
原來獲得賞識很簡單，養成好習慣就可以了。
有個小弟在腳踏車店當學徒，有人送來一部故障的腳踏車，小弟除了將車修好，還把車子整理的漂亮如新，其他學徒笑他多此一舉，後來雇主將腳踏車領回去的第二天，小弟被挖角到那位雇主的公司上班。
原來出人頭地很簡單，吃點虧就可以了。
有個小孩對母親說：「媽媽你今天好漂亮。」
母親回答：「為什麼。」
小孩說「因為媽媽今天都沒有生氣。」
原來要擁有漂亮很簡單，只要不生氣就可以了。
有個牧場主人，叫他孩子每天在牧場上辛勤的工作，朋友對他說：「你不需要讓孩子如此辛苦，農作物一樣會長得很好的。」
牧場主人回答說：「我不是在培養農作物，我是在培養我的孩子。」
原來培養孩子很簡單，讓他吃點苦頭就可以了。
有一個網球教練對學生說：「如果一個網球掉進草堆裏，應該如何找？」
有人答：「從草堆中心線開始找。」有人答：「從草堆的最凹處開始找。」
有人答：「從草最長的地方開始找。」
教練宣布正確答案：「按部就班的從草地的一頭，搜尋到草地的另一頭。」
原來尋找成功的方法很簡單，從一數到十不要跳過就可以了。
有一家商店經常燈火通明，有人問：「你們店裡到底是用什麼牌子的燈管？那麼耐用。」
店家回答說：「我們的燈管也常常壞，祇是我們壞了就換而已。」
原來保持明亮的方法很簡單，只要常常更換就可以了。
住在田邊的青蛙對住在路邊的青蛙說：「你這裡太危險，搬來跟我住吧！」
路邊的青蛙說：「我已經習慣了，懶得搬了。」
幾天後，田邊的青蛙去探望路邊的青蛙，卻發現他已被車子壓死，暴屍在馬路上。
原來掌握命運的方法很簡單，遠離懶惰就可以了。
有一隻小雞破殼而出的時候，剛好有隻烏龜經過，從此以後小雞就背著蛋殼過一生。
原來脫離沉重的負荷很簡單，放棄固執成見就可以了。
有幾個小孩很想當天使，上帝給他們一人一個燭臺，叫他們要保持光亮，結果一天兩天過去了，上帝都沒來，所有小孩已不再擦拭那燭臺。
有一天上帝突然造訪，每個人的燭臺都蒙上厚厚的灰塵，只有一個小孩大家都叫他笨小孩，因為上帝沒來，他也每天都擦拭，結果這個笨小孩成了天使。
原來當天使很簡單，只要實實在在去做就可以了。
有隻小豬，向神請求做祂的門徒，神欣然答應，剛好有一頭小牛由泥沼裡爬出來，渾身都是泥濘，神對小豬說：「去幫他洗洗身子吧！」
小豬訝異的答道：「我是神的門徒，怎麼能去侍候那髒兮兮的小牛呢！」
神說：「你不去侍候別人，別人怎會知道，你是我的門徒呢！」
原來要變成神很簡單，只要真心付出就可以了。
有一支掏金隊伍在沙漠中行走，大家都步伐沉重，痛苦不堪，只有一人快樂的走著，別人問：「你為何如此愜意？」
他笑著：「因為我帶的東西最少。」
原來快樂很簡單，擁有少一點就可以了。
人生的光彩在哪裡？
早上醒來，光彩在臉上，充滿笑容的迎接未來。 到了中午，光彩在腰上，挺直腰桿的活在當下。 到了晚上，光彩在腳上，腳踏實地的做好自己。
原來人生也很簡單，只要能懂得「珍惜、知足、感恩」你就擁有了生命的光彩。
身旁的男友
周末和男友去看电影，俩人高高兴兴的依偎在一起嚼着爆米花，
享受着荧幕上的乐趣。晚上然后到他家继续缠绵。
深夜，男友在身边熟睡，
电话忽然响起，竟然是男友妈妈哽咽着打来的电话：
“他昨天出了车祸，一直在医院抢救，刚才走了…”
我的手机从手中滑落，扭头向身旁的男朋友……
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
摄影
每个摄影人心中都有自己的一套拍摄概念与风格，但不是每个观众都会喜欢或接受他的一套，遇到有共鸣的观众，他们会很是欣赏他的作品，遇到不认同的观众，他的作品就只是很普通甚至不入眼的作品而已咯~
- Justin Yeong -
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
说了不该说的话
我酒量很差,两瓶啤酒就能把我灌醉过去。
女友平时如果想套我什么话,就会哄我陪她喝酒。
今天我早上我从宿醉中醒来时,发现女友正满面泪痕地看着我。
糟了,一定是昨晚说了不该说的话。
“老婆,无论我昨晚说了什么都不是真的！”我辩解道。
“笨蛋,”女友狠狠打了我一拳,
“你昨晚向我求婚了~”
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